To make a point
by CruelDawn
Summary: Set during Eclipse. Self-insert. A teenager decides to prove that the Twilight vampires are not truely vampires, but aliens. She uses Alice to prove it. Alice is not happy whatsoever. Please R&R.


**Disclaimer: **I do not own the _Twilight Saga_, obviously, because if I did, Edward would not be sparkly.

"Um, Edward, why is that girl sprinkling Alice with garlic?"

"Miss Nobleman, now that is official that she knows my family and I are vampires and that she does not intend of telling anyone, has decided to prove a point." As she sat on the couch with Edward, Bella worriedly glanced at a very irked Alice and the girl in question as she placed a necklace that seemed to be made entirely of garlic cloves.

"Why?" Bella asked after a moment.

"To prove that your boyfriend and his family are not really vampires." Elizabeth Nobleman said as she stepped away from Alice and grabbed a digital camera.

"Are you done yet?" Alice asked, looking quite indignant as Elizabeth snapped a picture.

"No, I'm not." Elizabeth set the camera down and pulled off the garlic necklace, "Now get up Squeaky, over to the mirror."

Though mumbling irritably, Alice did as was asked.

As she watched Elizabeth take a picture of Alice and her reflection, Bella asked quietly, "Why is Alice agreeing to this?"

"Because Nobleman has agreed to cease annoying us for over a month," Edward explained as Alice stood in the sunlight, glittering as usual as Elizabeth proceeded to snap another picture.

"Now, you are able to heal yourself with your venom, right?" Elizabeth questioned Alice.

"Uh, yeah. Why do you ask?" Alice confirmed as Elizabeth rummaged through her bag for something. A moment later, she pulled out what appeared to be a silver stake. Alice's eye went wide. "What the- No, absolutely not."

She was beginning to back away, but for once Elizabeth was already launching herself upon Alice, silver stake in hand. _Ah, the magical powers of caffeine_,Bella thought as she spotted a half-empty cup of espresso near Elizabeth's bag.

Seconds later, Alice was on her feet. Except for the fact that she had a stake in her chest, she was fine. In the same moment, Elizabeth took another picture. After removing the stake and licking her wound, Alice looked at Elizabeth coldly.

If looks could kill…

Well, Elizabeth would still be standing. Bella had seen scarier poodles.

"What in the name of all that is holy in _wrong_ with you?" Alice asked, venom dripping off her words. Elizabeth just shrugged.

"A lot of things, but most of them are undiagnosed." she replied. Seeming to be unaware of the seething vampire in front of her, the chestnut haired girl retrieved the stake and proceeded to go through her bag again. After she retrieved a rather large silver cross, Elisabeth looked up at Bella. Bella gulped when she saw a slightly crazed light in eyes of the girl before her. This could not be good. "Bella-San, would you mind holding this in front of Alice-San?" she asked, pointing at the cross in her hand. Bella sighed in relief.

"Sure Elizabeth." Bella said, getting up. Gripping the cross, she did as was requested. Seconds later, Elizabeth took another picture.

After Bella had given back the cross and sat back down again, Alice asked, fuming, "Are you done yet, or what?"

"Hmm, let me see," Elizabeth said more to herself than Alice, "Got the garlic, mirror, silver stake, cross… what else? Ah, I almost forgot!" Immediately she dove back into her bag, searching. Moments later, she found what she sought… what appeared to be the one of the first cameras invented. Before Bella could even blink, Elizabeth had taken another picture of Alice. Very, very visibly Alice's left eye twitched.

"You're too easy to annoy, you know that? It takes so much more to make my sister crack." Elizabeth commented, putting the ancient camera and the digital one back in her bag.

"Are you done yet or not?" Alice growled, looking beyond ready to murder the chestnut-haired girl.

"Yep, I am. And thank you Miss Alice Cullen in helping me in my mission of proving that you and the rest of your family are not vampires, but simply aliens from Venus. Now, if you excuse me, I need to go down to La Plush to bother Jacob for his computer so I can get these printed." she said as she begain to walk out the door. However, just as she had one foot out the door, she looked at Bella with a spastic grin playing on her lips, "By the way Bella, Edward is really a Wizard named Cedric Diggory who dies in the fourth book." And before anyone could stop her, Elizabeth was running away faster than should have been humanly possible. Oh, praise the powers of caffeine.

And for a moment, there was only silence in the Cullen household, and then-

"What in the name of Victoria is she taking about?"


End file.
